Accidentally Sharing My Feelings
Should I tell you up front that I don’t know where this is going? Probably not.
But I don’t care. I care about you, certainly, but I don’t care if this post follows any rules – writing, blogging, basic social precepts of any kind.
So it’s settled. I have no idea where this is going.*
I feel a malaise. And alternately I feel satisfaction, coupled with a grateful heart. I’m unable to reconcile such disparate emotions.
We (Mark and I), think perhaps I’m experiencing a growth spurt. I will explain why this is a completely reasonable assumption.
We’ve noticed that our children lose their s*&# for a while every time they’re about to reach a major milestone. A child development expert friend of mine says this is completely normal; apparently, little kid brains can only cope with so much. When they’re about to grow (physically, mentally, emotionally), their brains put everything into reaching this new milestone. She said that if we pay close attention we’ll notice a pattern: basket case, followed by a milestone, like walking or a whole bunch of new words or the need to go buy all new jeans since the old ones are suddenly man-capris.
My growth spurt is most likely of the mental/emotional variety, but maybe I’ll actually grow physically. That would be completely amazing. Maybe those long legs I’ve always wanted will finally be mine.
There’s really no other explanation for my two-plus hour nap on Sunday, from which I never fully woke up. Left to my own devices, I would have slept until… oh, hell, I might still be sleeping. There’s no other explanation for feeling weepy one moment and at peace the next. There’s no other explanation for thinking I have the to-do list under control one minute, and freaking out about all the crap I’m not getting done in the next minute.
Well, sure, there are other explanations, but I am not pregnant. I am not menopausal (at least I better not be). I am not enduring a major life crisis of any kind.
So there you have it. I’m having a growth spurt.
I’ll let you know if I have to buy all new pants for my supermodel legs. Fingers crossed.
:: Do you ever feel like you are barely keeping it all together, even when there’s no reasonable explanation for your… craziness (for lack of a better word at this moment)?
* DISCLOSURE: Part of the reason I didn’t know where this post was going, is that I never planned to write it. Earlier today I read this post from Literal Mom, and it was the first time I admitted to myself that I haven’t exactly been holding things together lately. So I ran with that thought, and this is where it led. Not because I just felt some need to be all feeling-y, but because I’m genuinely curious about whether other people go through this same randomness of emotions.