I Can’t Hear You
My four-year-old starts and ends, and peppers along the way, every story he tells with, “No matter what!”
No matter what, the dinosaur turns into a real monster and he’s not in the TV, and no matter what he comes out of the TV and he doesn’t look scary until nighttime, and then no matter what you can see his bones and his teeth and he might try to get you, but I will save you, no matter what.
Maybe four is too young for Shark Week and Scooby Doo? Maybe. But read on and you’ll see why there was some TV time here this week. At any rate, I like his current story-telling style. At the end of every story I tell him, “That was great, and I love you. No matter what.”
My hope is that you will hang around and read this post, no matter what, because I can’t guarantee it’s going to flow or even make sense. But I’m glad you’re here to read.
No matter what.
Currently, I am unable to hear out of my left ear. Okay, I can hear some, but it’s like I’m pulling a Baby Jessica. Someone please get me out of this well. I have an infection that made the doctor say, “Oh. Oh, wow.”
Nothing makes you feel safer, or healthier, than oh, wow from the doctor. My ear is, according to her, very infected, full of fluid and pus. My phone keeps changing pus to puss, which is quite different. I did not bother to correct the auto correct, so if you got a text from me saying I’m full of puss, I hope you understood. And yes, I texted multiple people to whine about my affliction.
The doctor went on to say things like “so glad you came in when you did” and “at this point, we can’t take a wait-and-see approach… we have to treat you immediately” and “we start to worry about infections that spread to your brain stem” and “meningitis.”
I have zero brain to spare. What I have barely works most of the time. So I grabbed my prescriptions and ran. Okay, I walked. Slowly. Do not aggravate the ear.
She gave me this note, as well.
Mark and I got a good chuckle out of it, both of us knowing I had several zillion things to get done this week. We assumed that while I would not get carried away, I would manage to keep things moving around here. But I’m dizzy, and nauseated. I complete half – or less, let’s be honest – of every task before I have to sit down so I don’t barf. Well played, ear.
They (webMD, Mayo Clinic and every questionable medical site, and not medical site – Yahoo! Answers, anyone? – out there) say bad ears equal bad equilibrium. Or else the infection is already eating my brain. My bet is on the second thing, because I’ve decided to be a drama queen. So bored with pretending to be normal all the time. (Don’t even tell me I never had you fooled to begin with.)
This is my second ear infection this summer. What am I, two-and-a-half? You can just stop rolling your eyes about how many more I am than two-and-a-half. I know I’m old. My professional medical opinion, based on years of Doogie Howser,M.D., St. Elsewhere, and ER watching, is that Austin allergies are trying to kill me via secondary infections, and it’s time to find an allergist.
So that’s what’s going on around here. We have one more short trip before school starts (summer road trip post coming – things to look forward to: my husband’s road-induced Tourette Syndrome and my inability to explain geography to my children), and then I have some new blog/writing related stuff on the way for you. Good stuff coming, I can feel it.
I can also feel my heartbeat in my ear, so I think it’s time to eat more chocolate and watch last night’s Interior Therapy at make-your-ears-bleed levels.
Thanks for reading my tale of woe.
No matter what.
:: If you’re in Austin, do you have a fantastic, amazing, wonderful allergist or homeopathic genius or both to recommend?
:: If you’re not in Austin (or even if you are), do you have your own random tale to share? No matter what?