What’s Shakin’, Bacon?
I live with a five year old. What’s shakin’, bacon? goes over big here. You know what is going to suck? When my kids no longer think I’m the funniest person on the planet.
I’m a big deal to a couple of small boys in my house (they’re my kids, not random small boys, in case you’re confused and considering calling the police). But step outside the front door and I’m a speck. There’s a lot of big stuff going on in the world right now. So much so that I haven’t been able to decide where to start, what to blog about – or not blog about – lately.
I wonder where a blog – specifically, my blog – fits into the big stuff. A case of analysis paralysis.
The answer came to me today in a flash of what I’d like to call brilliance, but likely it has very little to do with whether or not I’m brilliant (Decidedly, I am not. Bummer.). In a quiet moment, one of average intelligence, I had an a-ha.
My blog, like me, fits in wherever or however I decide it (or I) will. I can use this space to talk about the big stuff. Or not. I can help out with some of the big stuff going on in the world. Or not. I can use this space to provide an outlet, a break from the big stuff. Or not. I can make it count. Or not.
Whatever I decide, sitting around wondering on the topic is not going to amount to much.
In my family we have a saying: Butts and elbows, people. Butts and Elbows! We say it when there is a lot of work to get done. We say it when we want action, not idle chatter. Or idle thinking.
It’s time for butts and elbows around here. I’ll just apologize now, because I don’t know how all this butting and elbowing will shake out. I am working on a redesign and refocus. A lot of it is already clear to me, but not all of it, so you’ll just have to wait and see. I can tell you that the brand of wondering we’ve been doing here will change a bit, and there may be some philanthropically-minded pursuits here and there.
You know me, it’s not going to get all serious and heavy. I’m planning to tackle these changes in the same manner and tone you’re used to.
Additionally, I’m re-entering the workplace. Can’t tell you much about that yet, either. Wow, this is shaping up to be such an informative post, no? Again, I apologize. I hope that I’ll have more details (and a new website!) for you soon. The point to this little tidbit is just to say that I see some changes in my approach to blogging, resulting from a new focus for Wonder, Friend and from new professional projects.
I usually prefer to get the proverbial ducks in their rows before launching changes, but I realize that little hangup often prevents me from doing anything. And we all know, something is better than, well, nothing. I don’t have a grand plan here, but I do know that a really big thing happened this week in Joplin, Missouri.
I struggled with the why and the what and the whether or not I would blog about it at all. But a friend of a friend is working around the clock in a hospital, helping sick, wounded people who were affected by the tornado. I can’t stop thinking about all the people involved – from those who lost everything to those putting their lives aside to help. I don’t have much to say that hasn’t already been said by those more knowledgeable than I am, except that I wish I could make things better.
Maybe we can’t all go there and provide help in a physical way. But we can help. Visit the American Red Cross’s Donate Now page and find out what you can do. Money is always needed, but there are other ways to get involved if you don’t have extra funds right now.
And yes. Money, mouth, same place. I’m going to make a donation right now.
read moreListen To Your Mother Audition
Fear. Shame. Perfectionism. Wholeheartedness.
I’ve been thinking about these things lately. Or rather, these things have been smacking me upside the head lately.
Last Friday I auditioned for Listen To Your Mother in Austin. It was an incredible experience. I’ve heard other people say that; you probably have, as well. I didn’t fully understand until I experienced it. Gigi talks about her audition here, and The Empress tells her story here. Their words ring true for me, too.
I started writing for real – and by for real, I mean publicly and with commitment – almost a year ago. Before that I was a Writer-In-Hiding. Afraid I wasn’t good enough, afraid of rejection, afraid of hurting someone I love. So putting myself out there, standing on a stage, reading something I wrote was exhilarating and terrifying and validating.
Going in I was simply excited to meet two women I admire, Wendi Aarons and Jennifer Sutton (@thesearenewdays). Walking out I realized it was a bit more than that.
Understatement of the year.
I walked in overtired and raw. How fitting, as I was there to audition for a show about the trenches of motherhood. I spent most of last week wallowing in those trenches, taking care of sick kids and juggling the myriad other tasks and obligations on our calendar. After several near-sleepless nights, I was edgy. Exhausted.
It was also fitting that I was there to read a story about my oldest, about his heartbreak and my heartache. Friday happened to be the day of his fifth birthday party. It was divine, I thought, that on a day when we were to celebrate him, I was telling a piece of our story. His and mine. Together. Almost exactly five years to the day from when our story began, I was celebrating our life together though story. And through birthday cake.
As of this writing I don’t know the results of the auditions. Ann Imig, LTYM creator and director of the Madison show, explains the casting process from a director’s point of view. It’s not cut and dried. I have few expectations. Don’t get me wrong, there will be one hell of a happy dance if I’m in the cast. But if I’m not, that’s okay, too.
It will be okay, because I left feeling bouyed. Feeling challenged. Wendi and Jennifer looked me in the eye and said (I’m paraphrasing here, as I didn’t take my little reporter’s notebook and tape recorder with me to the audition), Get out there. Submit your writing. What do you have to lose?
My story, validated. My writing, encouraged.
And I am so grateful for that experience.
As I walked away, I had what you might call an aha moment. I tend to think of them more as Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. moments. So there’s more to this story, and you can read about it here, on the Studio 30Plus Magazine. (Like how I did that? Subtle, right?)
A note:
I wrote this post, and the one for Studio 30Plus, over the weekend. Last night, Sunday, I picked up Brene´ Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection, and sat there with my mouth open.
I’ve heard Ms. Brown speak before. You may remember that her talk is where a lot of my energy around kicking fear to the curb, and embracing authenticity, came from. The book goes into depth about what it means to embrace Wholeheartedness. It talks about why doing things like auditioning for LTYM is key to accepting ourselves.
It’s good stuff. I once again recommend that you read and watch Ms. Brown.
I wonder…
:: Do you have a story about a time you kicked fear to the curb?
:: Have you ever stepped outside yourself and done something uncomfortable? What was the result?
read moreKill Your Darlings
That, up there, the title of this post, is indisputably wise counsel from an indisputably wise writer. We just aren’t sure which wise writer, exactly. Most say William Faulkner, and some say Mark Twain. And some say nobody ever really said it at all.
Whoever said it, or didn’t say it, was referring to words, sentences, passages in writing. Every writer has experienced the need to murder a favorite line, or even an entire piece, of writing. Sometimes the writing is beautiful, lyrical, moving… and wrong. Sometimes a sentence, lovely though it is, doesn’t add anything to the story. Or worse, it detracts from the story.
Today I’m appropriating this guidance and applying it to Wonder, Friend. I’m not killing a sentence or a passage. I’m killing Wonder Why Wednesday. Well, not killing, exactly. More like putting it in a medically induced coma.
I make no guarantees. Wonder Why Wednesday may resurrect one day, but for now it’s going the way of Rick Schroder. You know he’s still out there and he’s doing okay, but you don’t see him around much. You can always visit Wonder Why Wednesday in the archives, and just when you think it’s gone forever, I might bring it back. Options, they’re open.
Go ahead, take a moment. Grab a tissue, shout, why, oh why? to the heavens. Or shrug your shoulders and say, Whatevs. (I know, I don’t say that either – I am way to old for a Whatevs. I’m almost too old for Whatever. Almost.)
The thing is, Wonder Why Wednesday has become an annoyance. A burden. I kind of hate it. Blogging is a lot of things, and it means something different to everyone. I’m still trying to figure out exactly what it is for me, and where I’m going to take this blog. But one thing I am certain of is that Wonder, Friend, while primarily a writing outlet, should be fun.
Wonder Why Wednesday is sucking the fun.
Don’t get me wrong: I almost always like the topics (full disclosure: I like some weeks better than others) and I really love your comments. What I don’t like is the constraint of a weekly feature. I’m all for schedules. I love routines. But somehow, in the confines of this blog, the weekly commitment to a why-themed post is not working for me.
I suspect there will still be a Why? post now and then, but I’m playing fast and loose with the schedule. I need the freedom to try some new things with Wonder, Friend and letting go of Wonder Why Wednesday is one piece of embracing that freedom.
So. There you are. Happy Wednesday to you, and here’s to freeing up some space in the blog.
I wonder…
:: Have you ever had to let go of a commitment, whether by your own choosing or due to circumstances beyond your control?
:: If so, how did you feel about quitting, for lack of a better word?
:: If you’re a blogger, do you ever feel hemmed in by features or memes that your host?
:: Do you think it’s okay to switch up things on your readers? (I do think it’s okay, but I can handle it if you disagree with me, so feel free to voice your opinion in the comments!)
read moreThe WordPress Plugin That Made Me Do a Little Dance
You are in one of two camps:
1. You’re part of the Back to School, Back to Blogging Challenge over at Kludgy Mom and you are just all over the widget and plugin thing this week. You saw a post title about a plugin and thought, I cannot wait to go read that!
2. You’re among the handful of friends, family and loyal readers who pop by Wonder, Friend now and then to wonder with me. You saw a post title about a plugin and you’re now wondering why you’re still reading. If you’re not a blogger and never anticipate being a blogger, you can move along guilt free. This is not going to be interesting. At all. But before you go, why not read this post or this post? Or this one?
So, now that we’re finished sorting Wonder, Friend readers into Blog-Writer-and-Reader and Blog-Reader-Only camps, we can get down to business.
Regular readers and friends of mine know that technology is not my thing. I blog because I love to write, not because I love the technology behind blogging. The kicker here is that in order to make blogging work for me, I need to learn a few more things about the man behind the curtain. So to speak.
If you’re a new blogger, this information may come as a shock to you. You could have knocked me over with a feather when I discovered that, as smart as WordPress is, the platform will not hold your hand and do everything for you. You have to help yourself a bit.
I’m exaggerating a bit, of course, about the shock. Anything you want to do well, whether it is writing, cooking, parenting or, yes, blogging, requires that you put a little effort into the activity. You have to educate yourself in order to improve.
There are two factors working against me when it comes to expanding my blog-related knowledge:
1. I have live-in tech support, with whom I sleep.
2. This is very secondary, but I have a terrible time following directions when it comes to technical stuff. The directions might as well be in Swahili.
So this little B2SB2B Event is pushing me out of my comfort zone in a big way. I am very excited to report, however, that I installed a plugin – and made it work – all by myself. While the plugin itself probably does not meet the exact specifications of our assigment (to find a cool, little known plugin), it is very exciting for me.
One of my big issues with blogging is staying in touch with readers. When you comment on my blog, I am a happy girl. I love hearing from readers, and I love starting a dialogue. At first, I emailed every person who commented. But sometimes I also replied on the blog. Or sometimes I visited that person’s blog and commented there. My communications got kind of jumbled, to say the least.
I then decided that I would only reply on my blog, within the comment thread. The issue here? You have to keep coming back to find out if I replied to you. Annoying.
So a couple weeks ago, I started asking around for ideas. Liz over at A Belle, A Bean and a Chicago Dog said she’d heard of this particular plugin; and then Mama Kat blogged about her 10 favorite WordPress plugins, and mentioned the same one. In fact, what I’m about to tell you about installing and setting up this plugin can all be found on Mama Kat’s blog, as well. You should read her anyway – she’s funny.
Are you ready? This plugin allows you to reply to comments within your comment thread and simultaneously send the reply via email. That way, your readers don’t have to keep checking your blog to see if you replied to them. I love it.
Ta-da!
Here’s how you, too, can add this feature to your blog:
:: Go to Plugins (on your Dashboard) and select Add New.
:: Enter “WordPress Thread Comment” in the search box.
:: Click Install.
The trick to making it work is to go into your WordPress Dashboard after installing and look for the Settings section (near the bottom of the left-hand column). Find WP Thread Comment in that list and click on it. Now you’ll get a screen with all kind of plugin-related details. About 2/3 of the way down, there is a box that says, Email notify the parent commenter when his comment was replied. Check Anyone Replies.
If you reply to comments from your admin page (I do sometimes), you also need to check the box that says Reply in WordPress Admin Panel.
Have someone help you test it, and give it between 10 and 30 minutes to email the reply to you.
Enjoy!
*********************************************************************************
This post is part of the Back to School, Back to Blogging Event, in which I’m participating because I need to learn a few things about blogging!
Posting Failure (and Tri My Way Thursday Update)
Hmmm. I scheduled a post for the first time ever. Not only did it not post at the requested hour, it has now turned into gibberish and refuses to let me anywhere near the “post” button.
Internet Technology Thingy That Makes My Blog Work, we should talk. I do think if we spent a little time together, one-on-one, we could be friends. As it stands now, I’m kind of tired of the technical difficulties you throw my way. Oh, don’t start up with your “user error” bullshit* again. I realize I don’t know everything about you or how to make you happy, but this process takes two. I would appreciate it if you do your part.
Real people readers? Are you still here?
Thanks for hanging around. I’ll repost today’s previously scheduled programming soon. Who knows, maybe my Internet Technology Thingy That Makes My Blog Work knew the post was drively crap written late at night after two sangrias with some fun new friends (here’s where I give a shout out to Christina at A Closet Writer and Gigi at Kludgy Mom). Yes, you read that right – two sangrias and I’m done for. I’m officially old and lame.
A quick Tri My Way update. You may have seen that the gym landed on my head this week. This did nothing to dampen my spirits, although it thoroughly dampened the gym. This week, I also learned the following:
1. I don’t posses the inner strength and will power required to do much more than the bare minimum. I am seeking outside motivation and trying some new tricks. I have a little contest going on with The Churchill Family. We haven’t done our weekly check-in yet, but she’s winning. For sure.
2. I didn’t want to count calories, but I am going to have to. I tend to get crazy obsessive once I start and spend half my day writing down my food intake. As I currently spend half my day on Twitter, I’m running out of hours left to care for my children. They are really particular about the whole food, clothing, love and attention deal. So in my continued efforts to be a real grown up, I am going to use my time more wisely. Writing down my daily caloric intake is now a non-optional activity.
3. I am really, really good at making excuses. I might turn it into a business. Excuses by Missy: You Don’t Wanna Go, I’ll Get You Out of It.
4. I still have a long road ahead to get my IT bands and knees in good working order. I need to slap my ego out of the way and accept that I’m not doing any triathlons in 2010. My husband so kindly pointed out that “at your age, you shouldn’t expect to see results so quickly.” I asked him how it feels to sleep alone. At his age.
So there you go. Summary: I ate well. But I also had two big slip-ups in the food department. I exercised and was very active. But I also talked myself out of going to the gym. Twice. One step forward, two steps back. This week’s goal: no back-stepping.
*Did you catch the movie reference? It’s not an exact quote, but it’s clearly borrowed from one of the most quotable movies ever. If you can tell me what it is, we will be good friends. How’s that for a motivating prize?!
read moreI’ll be here on April 29, 2012
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