What I Learned During the Super Bowl (Very Little About Football, That’s What)
I don’t know yet if this is going to be a traditional list of 10 things. I’m creating it live (so exciting for you, reading it after the Super Bowl, yes?) and don’t know how long I’m going to hang in there. I should clarify that I’m creating the list live as I watch the game, not live as the game airs. We DVR’d it, and didn’t start watching until around 8 p.m. CST.
It’s 8:53 CST and I’m so sleepy.
I might have to re-title:
What I Learned During the First Half or So of The Super Bowl
1. It’s Super Bowl. Not Superbowl. The latter is a 1000 calorie dish passed off as healthy, heartwarming soup in a chain restaurant somewhere.
2. Chalk me up to another public school failure: I did not retain what I learned about Roman numerals. Super Bowl X-L-V? It’s all Greek to me.
3. Speaking of 1000 calories… Football makes me want to eat junk food. All I can think about is melted cheese.
4. Unless someone I consider brilliant and erudite can convince me otherwise, there is absolutely no place in my life for Cowboys & Aliens.
5. John Travolta looks bored and sad. After all he’s been through, and now with a new baby at home, I have to wonder if Vinny Barbarino is at the game against his own better judgement.
6. I’m a major underachiever. The coach of the Steelers is 38 years old. I’m all worn out after half-heartedly watching the game for 53 minutes and typing six items on my list.
7. Oh wait. I’m still awake and just saw the VW Passat commercial with the tiny Darth Vader. Pure awesomeness.
8. More commentary on movie preview ads: dear lord, what is wrong with Hollywood? I may have a soft spot for the original, 1970’s Star Wars (see #7 on this list), but it’s nothing more than a teeny soft spot. If I see one more commercial promoting a movie about aliens, robots, explosions, mass destruction or mythical time travel, I am going to lose it. Hear that Hollywood? Lose it. You have pushed this suburban mother of two, who is in no way connected to the biz, to the edge.
9. All this togetherness, thanks to no-school-winter-weather-runny-noses-cabin-fever means that Mark and I are kind of on each other’s nerves. I know that doesn’t have anything to do with the big game, but I said this was a live list, and live in our house right now? He’s bugging me.
10. Long hair hanging out of football helmets makes me want to rush the field with a pair of freshly sharpened scissors. After I chop off all that hair, I’m going celebrate, excessively, in the end zone. Off to practice my dance now.
Look at that. A list of 10 after all.
I cheated earlier and checked Twitter during the half time show, but I’m still going to watch it even though I kind of know what’s coming.
Just a quick – but related – aside: I worked at the Super Bowl the year that Janet had her “wardrobe malfunction.” Good or bad, it’s going to take a lot for any show to top the year I was sitting in the stadium when my backup TV Boyfriend exposed Janet’s boob to the world.*
*A story for another day, maybe?
:: Did you learn anything during the big game?
:: Are you a football fan, a commercial fan or none of the above?
:: Fergie’s “Sweet Child of Mine” makes me sad. I think Axl Rose may need a hug after that. I know, that’s not a question.
:: I wish I could dance like Usher. Also not a question.